It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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