The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
