so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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