Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
