i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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