your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
