So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
