I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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