but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Watching her eat just hurts me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
