Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
