My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
