1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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