if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
