Christians are straight up FREAKS
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
