chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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