How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
