After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
