It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
