The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
