I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize