Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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