Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
