Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
