at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
