She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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