Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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