new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
