we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
nutella sex= disaster
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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