Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
