its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
