i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
