i permit you to call me
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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