theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
