i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
