So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize