Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
