HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
