you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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