Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
