walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize