Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Randomize
