you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
