somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
