somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
