One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
