are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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