I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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