I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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