But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
