I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
