You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
