I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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