fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
whose parrot is this?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
