my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
