I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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