Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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