and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She's like a pop up book from hell.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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