nut hugger
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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