what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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