Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
